Saturday, January 12, 2013

Self Construction

I've been thinking I haven't posted in a long time (so why not at 5am) and well the reason is I haven't had too many rants and really my only rave is my awesome husband and adorable baby. Seriously nothing else seems to matter that much to me right now. So cheesy right?! So this got me thinking why am I not more annoyed by getting up in the middle of the night or my husband talking to me in "herros"? Well duh because I love them. Why am I annoyed by other people all the time? Well duh because I don't love them. I was listening to the always wise Carol Tuttle and she said (in talking about kids) not to tie your emotions to other people's actions (saying things like you're driving me crazy etc). I have more control in other aspects of my life why not in my emotions too? Just because I don't like someone or something I don't have to give up my power or self control to them. I had never thought of emotions in that regard until I met my little Austin, and saw how un-annoyed Bryan was with my lack of mobility (honestly I was really annoyed by it). I realized that I chose to think everyone else is annoying - even if they are - I don't need to tie my emotions to them. Granted though I do know my child is the best/cutest/sweetest/etc (definitely not biased at all) he is mine forever so I need to make sure ours is a good relationship. I don't have to make every other relationship awesome because mainly I don't care, and secondly ain't nobody got time for that, but I don't need to tie my emotions to what they are doing. I choose to be happy or angry (because those are basically the only emotions I feel), nobody else can have a say unless I let them. Anyway so instead of the self destructive ways I have been living (letting other's actions control my emotions) I'm working on self constructive ways (see that little play on words- I'm so smart) to have more control in every aspect of my life. So in the future being angry can just be a hobby instead of who I am (because let's face it I do anger well).